It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

No good for sanity to open one email with a remittance advice for my refund and to see it was only for $577.00 But then I opened the other one and there was the rest of the money. But there was panic there for nigh on a minute. My poor fragile sanity.

I'm feeling very blue today. I even played some Final Fantasy X which I haven't played in about two years. Ah, that ridiculous, stupid game. How I love it.

I need to go to the shops and get cat food and stuffff and I'm like bllaahhhhhh get off your ass, Lara! Christ.

(Do not let me buy DVDs, willpower. Come on. Work for me!)

I got the second part of my loan finally. Six class weeks before the end of the year, but at least that means all the work I have done this year wasn't for nothing!

We have been watching Star Trek: The Original Series and it is awesome. Even if the 60s-era misogyny is rampant. I love Bones, Spock and Kirk. They are so in a three-way relationship.

Mexican food and The Trip last night was awesome too! I love Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan! They are brilliant together. And now I want to watch A Cock and Bull Story again sometime! Their banter is the best thing about it. Their banter and Dylan Moran hanging with Gillian Anderson.

Since I had slept basically the entire weekend, I was up yesterday for 24 hours. So the last 45 minutes or so of the movie was hard to stay awake for, but I'm so glad I didn't fall asleep. And not just because no one needs to hear my great honking snores. I would have been so sad to miss it.

Sometime this week I need to start my law essay and make an appointment to get my prescription renewed. But things are looking up, even if I am still really tired. And soon there will be curry! :D And then I will eat more of my giant dinosaur-lolly from Laura!

..last night I had a dream Neil Gaiman was my dad. It was awesome. Even if, for ONCE, I wish I could not have a lucid dream. Strangely, being aware that your dreams aren't real even as you dream them is kind of tiring.

1. My family is the most awesome thing in the world.

2. Still waiting on my program to confirm my results to the loan people so I can get my second semester loan. If this is refused, this entire year is basically a wash. And it's 7 weeks til the end of term (break weeks not included) So. That sucks. But-

3. My family is still the most awesome thing in the world.

4. I now have all The Kills albums! :D

5. Simon is wonderful for cheering me up.

6. My family is seriously the most awesome thing in the world.

I've been sleeping better, and when I woke up with a funny feeling throat thanks to the cold I am developing, I didn't panic. Which is awesomely amazing. First time.

Yesterday I had class which went really well, except that I was 40 minutes late. Why? I walked to the vet to get a flea treatment for the new kitten, Echo. But when I had printed out my assignment, I had taken my wallet out of my bag to get my student ID to write it on the cover sheet. I did this at home, so at least I didn't leave my wallet somewhere public, but it wasn't in my bag at the vet's. :|. I had been planning on taking the bus from there to uni to turn in my medical withdrawal form and turn in my assignment with plenty of time to get to class. Except then I had to walk home. And then the bus was late. And then it stopped to let about 500 kids on, which is fine as that is what a bus is for, but they were stupid kids and took forever to wrestle before boarding the bus and then struggling to find their own wallets. And then the student services office had moved. And then I got lost trying to find it. And then I had to cross campus to turn in my assignment. And then the bus to the Dovedale campus took forever too. So yes. Late. But I didn't panic then either. Hurrah.

Today I have a meeting with Anxiety Support Canterbury. I am going to discuss counselling and group with work them. And I am not anxious about the meeting at all. I can't even describe how that feels.

So instead I am about to post 25 photos of kittens. Yesterday the sun was streaming in and since my flash is as bright as a thousand suns and washes everything out, I decided to take photos of the cats with natural light so people could see what they really looked like. And then the photos looked amazing. So I took like...150. Shut up, these are freaking gorgeous. The cats and the pictures ;)

( You should be glad there are only 25... )

I have three assignments due in the next two weeks, but I have just finished one. My case study (easy peasy) is due on Friday and it is only 2,000 words. I just wrote 1,00 rambly words on service users and blah de blah for social policy. And then I have a 3,000-3,500 word essay on more social policy stuff and I cannot possibly express how bland I find social policy. But oh god. OH GOD.

My mouth is feeling slightly dry again today, but I think it's actually just because I'm having an off day and I am feeling a little (I just typed 'Littleton'...) anxious and depressed. And I think I am getting dear Alison's cold, though it could just be allergies!

I think the kitten is going to be named Echo. If you saw her, you would know why. She's a runty little thing. She needs a small name. And she is not stately. So something grandiose just doesn't fit. Echo or Clio, though I am now 99% sure it's Echo. I'll sleep on it, though feel free to weigh in there! I like opinions! She is adorable though. Every once in a while she just darts over and jumps up for a cuddle. She's perfect.

Tomorrow I have to remember to pick up a flea treatment from the vet for the new kitten, drop off my essay, hand in my form for withdrawing from my placement (asking why it has taken this long will only result in me ranting your ear off, so I would advise against it) and then going to class from 4:10 until 7. And THEN stuffing my face full of curry. Must remember to go to an ATM some time tomorrow too. Need cash for Indian foods.

I actually wrote today too. Not just essay stuff. It was wonderful. ...oh right. I should eat dinner. You know, if my appetite could return to me full time, that'd be nice too. :|

Didn't make three meals today, but I made two! And cake. A HUGE PIECE OF CAKE. Awww yeah! Gosh cake is an amazing invention. Caaaaaake. Cake.

Alison is coming home tomorrow. I am making chili because it has been again demanded. So I will leave the house to get rolls and wine in the afternoon tomorrow. Because I believe all are needed. And then this weekend I get to try out a new cupcake recipe. It is here. I am excite!

Also I finally put in for my refund from my student loans. Because it finally got approved and finally got here. So I should get my money in the next few days. It's nearly June. But you know. WHATEVER. :| At least it's nearly here. I shouldn't complain any more, but what a freaking ordeal. This means I can spend the money I just got from working on DVDs on the interwebs. MWUAHA!

My sleep schedule is so stupidly messed up. But I have cute kitties! And I am watching Danny Bhoy and reading about Celtic mythology. <3

Aarrrggghhhhhstudentloans.

I don't know what's happening. My lender says "hey, you'll have to make repayments soon!" which isn't TRUE BECAUSE I AM STILL ENROLLED and trying to get a loan this year and now the loan lady is on leave until May (to be fair to her, she is lovely and I hope she has a lovely break!).

Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress. Don't vomit from stress.

Yeah, that oughta do it.

My pulled chest muscle doesn't hurt as much anymore and I can breathe now (yay) but now it itches like mad!

Loan still up in the air. It's almost half-way through April. This doesn't make me happy, this makes me want to stab things.

Leah: "I have to think of a medieval Scottish name."
Me: (just pulling out first Scottish name I could think of. "Macbeth!"
Leah: "Yes. I am going to name my female kelpie Macbetha."
Me: "...Macbethany?"

Christ I am so clever it hurts me sometimes.

No, like...really. I laughed so hard at this (I tend to find myself funnier than anyone else does, something that always baffles me because like...I am amazing...) and it hurt my stupid chest.

Sitting in class today was excruciating. And then don't even get me started on how the rest of the day sucked major ass. At least I am home now with my girls, ignoring the rest of the shitty world.

My classes are going back tomorrow (AT EIGHT IN THE MORNING OMG) and after that I have a flu shot appointment at 9:48 (yes) and after THAT I have to go yell at people because I STILL haven't heard about my loan and it's like...April. So...yeah. If I have to like...not be studying, I'd like to KNOW THAT. My first assignment is due tomorrow too. And switching from writing prose to writing academic crap is kind of wigging me, but that's okay. I'll get there. This assignment is just worth part of 15 percent.

My hands, they are shaking. Oh blood sugar, you fickle bitch.

Not everything is doom and gloom here in the State of Emergency. The cordon has been reduced by another block, though it's still half a block away from my work and probably that part won't be reduced any time soon, due to the seventeen story building on the brink of collapse a few blocks away. (right...stop doom and gloom) My placement is going awesomely which is totally a word. I love it.

Also, the LFoD has been entirely made out of hilarity. This was chronicled expertly by Alison who collected quotes and stories from the last few days here. It makes me happy. The other day I came home around 6 and we basically spent the next five hours laughing so much my stomach muscles hurt the next day.

This house is <3