It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

Just went to see Men in Tutus and it was AMAZING. The second half of the show was Swan Lake and it was hilarious and perfect. And Laura bought the DVD so we can see it again while not soaked. Because apparently New Zealand decided that today would be the best day to piss down rain. It's like a deluge out there. There is a sea in the backyard. And Echo is outside so I reckon she's Icky the Loch LFoD Monster.

Had Chinese food for tea and now there is Aliens, tea, Ariadne in my lap, and a Laura! Today is awesome!

I have my computer back! It is awesome and really quite big and strange. And I keep forgetting I can sign on to AIM. Oops.

Two volcanoes erupted in two days over here in Middle Earth. Oh, New Zealand. Just calm down a little, will you? There are another two on alert now. This is all up on the North Island and I live in the South Island. But it's still all kinds of fun! No ash has made it very far yet, but they keep warning that this could lead to months of volcanic activity. Poor North Island!

Let's see, what else is happening? On Sunday Laura and I are going to Men in Tutus and I am so excited :D We are going out for Moroccan food first and I am very much looking forward to it. When I told my mother I was going to see Men in Tutus she was like "Is that like that stripper film?" Oh, mother. No no. She is pretty adorable though!

Alison is really quite close to me. That is all. (She is reaching for carrots...)

Been avoiding my journal because LJ pisses me off. So here's a quick update:

Back in New Zealand. Being in the US and avoiding real life was awesome. Now I have to do actual decisions though. Calling WINZ tomorrow to look in to going on disability for chronic fatigue since I still completely crash out of nowhere and just can't do anything. Then I need to up my meds because being sick for so long is depressing and what I'm on isn't enough any more.

Also I have a cold which I am sure I got from the plane.

BUT I am back with my kitties and my housemates. They are such lovely people. I couldn't ask for better people to be with while I slog my way through this.

Once I figure out what I am doing next year, then I need to just get better. Because really? I'd like my life to continue and it feels like it has just stalled. I don't like it.

More huge earthquakes in Christchurch. I'm not there at the moment, and I don't like it though my mother is pleased. My cats and friends and house are okay. I think some things broke in our kitchen but not too much.

So there that is. 5.8, 5.3 and then a 6.0 Hrrgghhh.

I have been looking forward to going to the US because being here in the city of Aftershocks and Gloom hasn't been great for the old brainpan. But my trip to Te Anau and various made me feel so incredibly good. So now I'm all "wah, I have to leave my home for two months!" It does make it better than I get my family though :D But I will miss my friends and my cats and my house and my housemates and all the things. In the long run, two months isn't too long. Just feels like it right now!

So in 10 and a half hours I will wake up and take a shower and then I will head for the airport. Then I will be in Sydney before heading to the US. I get to see my cousin in San Francisco, and then my mommy in Helena, Montana. I can catch up on writing all the things, since there are few distractions in Montana, especially in winter.

I feel so much better though. It's...awesome. I just really needed to get out of this city, even though I love it so much. Touring the south island of NZ was amazing. This county is gorgeous and I think, despite wanting to leave it for the UK for a while, I think I kind of want to stay. We'll see how things go. But I feel at home here. It's lovely.

So now I have to clean my room for Woot to move in to it for two months. I should vacuum for him too, since the floor is covered with catfood. Echo is a messy eater. I can't wait until I can come back and cuddle the kitties again though! I will miss my babies!

It is hot today. As an aside. It's gross.

Slept for like 14 hours and much of that time I was having dreams of panic attacks. They felt so real I have no idea if they were real panic attacks and I just didn't wake up instead weaving them into dreams, or if they were completely dreamed ones. And when I wasn't panicking, I was dreaming about tornadoes and trying to get all my stuff and cats into a tornado shelter randomly filled with children I couldn't control. HMM, WHO IS FEELING A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL LATELY!? Thanks, subconscious, but I am already aware of that. You don't have to send me dream messages to tell me. I always get this way before I fly internationally because there's so much to arrange. HHHRRGGNNNHHH.

Dentist appointment today! Nearly vomited from stress in the waiting room because I hate being judged and I had to write down on the form that I haven't been to a dentist in years. Turned out to be just fine. I said going in that I am a student and can't afford how expensive the dentist is and other than a little Look, the guy was lovely and not-judgey. Though to keep myself calm before I went in, I was quoting Ed Byrne on dentists in my head. "How much of a shit do THEY give about teeth!?" Oh, Ed. I love thee.

Then I walked into town so I could see Cashel Street mall. I was on Cashel Street (though the other end of it) when the Feb quake happened and going back there nearly sent me panicking, but I decided to go anyway. The place was basically levelled in February but they have sent up shops in shipping containers and it was...basically awesome. I have photos which I'll post later. The only thing about it that I didn't like was when I was walking down Colombo Street and I coughed, the city was so empty that my cough echoed and that was just UNCOOL. But Cashel Street totally made up for it. This city...just...<3

Now I am too tired to do anything else I planned today. Stupid fatigue. So I will watch How I Met Your Mother until I have to make dinner and then fall into bed again. But I did dentistry and shopping and I ate Thai food which was all kinds of awesome. So I'm calling today a win, even if there WAS a largeish aftershock when I was on the third floor of a building in the city.

It is almost time, once again, for the girls of the LFoD to gather together and share a night of terrifying movies and lots and lots of sugar. This is how we celebrate Halloween in NZ. Emphasis on WE since most people don't.

So today I pulled myself out of bed (at like 4 PM shhh) and went into Riccarton to fetch supplies. It's also my oldest original character's 23rd birthday today. She was 16 when I made her. I thought the situation called for cheesecake. Bailey's cheesecake. Cause, like...she's Irish. Anyway, then I went and purchased two bags of junk food that is necessary for Halloween.

I decided to catch a different bus home today simply because it got there before the normal Orbiter bus I get. We have a new central bus station and I haven't been in there yet. It's this temporary thing in the middle of town and seeing it made me burst with love for this city. It's trying so hard.

We turned out of the bus station and onto a street. We were tooling along and everyone went silent. I looked around at the gaping, empty spaces where buildings used to be and I had no idea where I was. I didn't recognise the street so I just figured it was one of the side-streets in town. And then I noticed the Dick Smith Ness used to work at and realised I was on Columbo Street. For non-locals, that's one of the main streets through town. And it's just...gone. When I realised where I was, I felt like I might vomit. This is real. It really happened. It's not going away. And it's happening other places and it's so much worse and blahblahblah yuck.

So I had burgers and Simpsons and then I ate cheesecake. Tomorrow there will be tea and then pumpkin soup and horror movies. Clinging to the nice things is better than vomiting in horror because the world seriously, absolutely sucks.

Happy birthday, Deirdre. No character has ever made me laugh and scream and cry and want to strangle and hug a fictional person at the same time as much as you have. Thank you for being part of my brain. You make it just that little bit nicer.

I am finished with this university year. My final essay is in and I sat my final exam yesterday for the law class. A class I attended twice and studied for on the day before. I had to answer 4 essay questions. I managed to basically remember perfectly the legislation and regurgitate it for the exam for two questions. The last two, I think I remembered 90% and 80% of the legislation respectively. BUT I also have a special consideration waiver for the exam so if my result is terrible, they throw it out, and if it's not, it gets marked easier.

So that was my today. Going to the doctor and then going shopping. And then getting home and crashing because apparently instead of spending the rest of the day writing like I wanted to, the stress of the past...ever...got to me and I basically passed out. I woke up to eat some potatoes and soon I am headed to bed again.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have more energy! Then I can write. And begin to look forward to the trip to Dunedin and Fiordland as well as my trip to the US in about three weeks. Before that I need to clean my room like whoa. Organisation, ahoy!

It seems the worst of the snowpocalypse might be over, which is good. I don't know when things will open again, but it will be nice not to feel stuck at home. Not that I go anywhere these days, but I like it to be an option. It does mean Alison will fly away from us tomorrow, waahhhh. Let's not focus on that, or the fact that a virus deleted the essay I had mostly finished so I had to write 2,100 words for it last night. I kicked it's arse though. Thanks to my own personal cheerleader. His name is Simon!

So here is a pictorial account of the last few days. It is awesome and features mostly cats, my bathrobe, Jen in an awesome costume, a lot of me (some upsidedown) and a photo that looks like I am choking Ariadne. I was not.

( Listen close to everybody's heart )

It's supposed to snow again here this weekend. Report! Apparently Sunday and Monday it's going to be all cold and gloooomy! So we shall shop tomorrow so there is no need to walk to the store in the snow. Wheee.

This very cold outbreak is likely to cause significant disruption to the country,as was the case with the last cold outbreak about two weeks ago.

The weather is welcome to disrupt my essay due date!

EDIT:

Lara: "I had three onions for lunch. I wanted some so I cooked three and ate them."
Alison: "I love you!"
Lara: "...I love you too. Why?"
Alison: "You decide you want something and then you fry it up and you eat it!"