It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I just had a dream that I was watching a zombie movie in my childhood home which doesn't even belong to us any more. But in the dream it did. And the movie was SET in my childhood home. The movie-makers had scouted the location and filmed part of it there, lalala.

So in the movie apparently zombies couldn't eat people in the country unless they had permission or they were in a special field. I DON'T KNOW! So they broke into my garage while the main character was getting wood for the fireplace over on my side of the house. The zombies couldn't eat the main character so they ATE MY CAT! Well, Binky was actually my sister's cat and our family had him from when I was about 7 until I was 24ish when he died of old age. He was in the garage and the zombies ate him. And I'm watching this movie IN THAT HOUSE so I had to run down the stairs and make sure he was okay. Apparently the filmmakers wanted to incorporate Binky into the movie. WHO KNOWS WHY. Binky was a one-eyed, crooked-jawed awesomekitty who had been hit by a car and was still badass. So I suppose having him killed by zombies in a movie IS pretty fitting for his awesomeness. And then I was all blogging, "that awkward moment when watching a zombie movie set in your house and zombies eat your cat". Yeah. Because that happens all the time.

Naomi Watts was also in the movie. And then the main guy was all cutting her head off and then someone knocked on my door and I woke up because my carpet arrived. It matches my drapes.

*sniggles*

I just watched Casanova with David Tennant in it. BRILLIANT even if the timeline is all muddled. Now I want to watch the version with Heath Ledger to compare them. And I downloaded his memoirs to read on my Kindle App.

At the beginning of the translation there is a note that says, "Caution, these works are not intended for children and may outrage readers who are also offended by Chaucer, La Fontaine and the Old Testament."

LOL.

If you're offended by the Bible, DON'T READ ABOUT CASANOVA'S SEXINGS. I suppose they DO have a point; if not a weird one.

Oh and Merry Christmas :)

Just had a dream a tsunami happened in CHCH. I was in some...ocean-front school or something. I don't even know except my old boss Michael was there and he seemed to be in charge. I made mention of a wave that had been so big it had crashed into the building and reached our second floor windows. And then someone yelled "everyone look! In the direction of Hokitika!" And this massive wave was headed our way from behind, set to go right over us.

I yelled at Alison who suddenly appeared at this school (I have no idea what I was doing there...) to go higher so we raced up these stairs to the attic and held on while the wave crashed over us. Because apparently the building was made of adimantium or something as it was still standing while a bunch of other buildings were not. Then Jen, who appeared as well, decided to GET A BOAT that they had to PUT TOGETHER (it so would have leaked) that she and Alison were going to row to Hokitika to check on their family. The tsunami was still going, but they wouldn't listen when I was like "uhm. So I don't think that's the most brilliant idea you've ever had."

Then I went back down to the second floor where people were gathered, waiting for subsequent waves. People were calling loved ones, so why Jen and Ali didn't just use the phone is beyond me. Then Alina and I went outside as a wave crashed beside us. Because apparently we had to have silly ideas too. And we were like, "well, this sucks."

And then I woke up. Don't know what that was about, but I'm suitably disturbed!

PS I just tried to spell-check adimantium. Then I remembered it wouldn't be a real word, considering it's not a real mental. Wow, me. It wanted to change it to Byzantium. THE BUILDING MUST HAVE BEEN MADE FROM BYZANTIUM BECAUSE IT STAYED UP!

Because it's easier to copy and paste than to write it out... My mother has amazing skills of keeping things for too long. Really.

Lara: I just found a cake mix in the cupboard from 1988. Which means this cake mix moved with us from Seattle to Kalispell and then Kalispell to here. This cake mix has been in my cupboards since I was 7. I don't even know.

Simon: LOL

Lara: If I asked her, she would probably said, "I might need it sometime." "WHY WOULD YOU NEED A LEMON CAKE FROM 1988!?" Zombie Apocalypse.

Simon: You could probably kill a zombie with a 23 year old lemon cake.

Lara: I think so!

Simon: cure for the zombie virus right there.

Lara: As long as you followed the high-altitude baking instructions if you lived here. Otherwise they would be like "this bullshit didn't even rise" *NOMS YOUR FACE*

Simon: LOL well yes

Randomly waking up when trying to sleep is annoying. More annoying when I forget where I am!

Today my step-daddy forgot he had opened up one of his non-alcoholic beers (ews) and so after dinner my mother pointed it out. He thought he would be really super cool and chug it in the kitchen, so he lifted it up to his mouth and chugged. And then it fizzed everywhere and he got it all over himself and had to spit it out in the sink. Then he spent the next five minutes, dripping it all over the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically. His laugh is a mixture between a jolly Irishman and the doctor from The Simpsons. It was pretty brilliant. And entirely refreshing that he could laugh at himself.

He also was like "you haven't seen it here (meaning this house, not Montana) in the winter have you?" and my response was, "I was here in the winter when I lived here." He looked confused so I said, "remember? I lived here for like six months?" More confusion. "I worked at Pizza Hut?" "OH YEAH!" To be fair to him, that was eight years ago, just before I moved to Australia! I thought it was amusing. He doesn't even eat Pizza Hut. Wouldn't go near it, so I don't know why that jogged his memory!

Tomorrow lots of people are coming for Racism Day lunch/dinner. It'll be nice to see most of them since I haven't in a long time. I usually miss them when I visit, even though they live in Helena. I hope to be incredibly interesting and witty. But I'll settle for Not Asleep.

Soon I will be able to watch the new ep of American Horror Story. I am excite! That'll put me back to sleep, surely. Right? RIGHT?!

My brother randomly came through town today to drop his dog Loki off here so we can dogsit for a few days. So I was woken up with "COME HUG YOUR BROTHER" and then my mother took me shopping for hours.

We wet to Wal-Mart where they were selling guns in plastic packages. They had pink ones. You know. Fer them gals. Bitches like pink. I couldn't believe it. I want to take my camera and take photos so I can show my NZ friends the glory that is the sporting section. <---Sarcasm. Also there was someone parked in the lot with a vanity plate that said "Ma Cow". So yep. I'm in Montana now. YEE YAW.

We also went to the store my niece works at so we could get a turkey for Racism Day (my mother had to listen to my ranting all day long, wheee) It was nice to see her! She's so grown up. I remember when she was 3. /old lady

And that's it. Being with my parents is awesome though. They're both lovely and hilarious. Even if Loki seems convinced I am some kind of alien and every time I move he growls. It has to be the hair. Don't hate on fake gingers, Loki. Are you some kind of dog-racist?! He doesn't mind me when I'm throwing a tennis ball for him. Just when I am hanging out inside. Le sigh.

Also, in Wal-Mart, my mother said "I have to get some balls for the dog. He needs some balls" And I couldn't stop laughing. She was generous enough to sigh and then ignore it instead of scolding me! Ah, love!

EDIT: Fixed my email inbox finally. Turns out I accidentally blocked the images mail uses to run with AdBlock when I was trying to block an ad on the side of it. LOLwhoops. I am so smrt. At least I figured it out!

I'm in Sydney airport! And bored. And also tired. Which is why I decided against leaving the airport and heading towards The Rocks to have myself a gay old time in the oldest part of Sydney. I saw the opera house and the bridge when we flew in and decided that that was enough. Seen 'em before anyway! So now I am holed up in my own little corner of the airport, being freaked out by the nostalgia of Australia accents surrounding me everywhere omg. You guys. You guys, it's like when I lived here. Except I lived in Melbourne, but shhh, it's sense memory.

I managed to bagsie a plug and everything! LAPTOP AND FREE WI-FI TIME. It's 9:40 in the morning here and my flight for San Francisco doesn't leave until 4:20 pm. So I have a lot of time to waste. But hell, if anyone can do it, it's me. I might even watch shit. BECAUSE I CAN. Or Tumblr the fuck out of it. It being Time.

Or...heaven forbid...I could roleplay. Or work on apps. It'll be bonza, mate! (No Australians are allowed to shoot me here. I could say 'y'all' for you to calm you down if you like.)

So I watched the season 7 premiere of Supernatural... Spoilers below the cut.

( Who else thinks the SPN writers read Forgotten Gods? )

Recent history being what is has been, I feel like none of my entries lately have shown my trademark silliness. This is for obvious reasons, being that it's hard to be silly when there are still soldiers barring you from entering your city, you keep having panic attacks, and you spend most of your time sleeping. But I do miss writing ridiculous things that probably only I giggle about.

So getting this out of the way, I went to sleep last night at 8 and woke up at 8 in the morning. I struggled to stay awake until about 11 when I finally gave in. I decided it would be best to have a whizz before I crawled back into bed, and I was so tired that the energy it took to go into the bathroom made me cry. So then I slept until 8 tonight. And I am still tired (my head feels too heavy to hold up) but I haven't cried yet, so that's...kind of like progress! And I have tuna melts. So it's progress with melted cheese.

Speaking of tuna melts, my housemates are trying to kill me in really subtle and underhanded ways.

Leah did all the dishes (bless her). I usually do them, but since I have been sleeping...the effect there is obvious. I think in revenge she removed the wombat-shaped oven mitt from the kitchen. This may seem like it is of no consequence, but it is of huge consequence when you have tuna melts in the oven getting blacker and blacker and you can't find the damn wombat-glove. And my sleep-addled brain didn't think to just get a dishtowel and hope it was thick enough to save me from the burning sensations. No. I ran around in circles until I remembered we had other less awesome and less chompy oven mitts. They were nowhere to be seen either. I opened the drawer where the clean things live, usually known as the drawer where nothing is. And lo and behold, non-chompy oven mitts.

So ha HAH, Leah. Your crafty plan to burn me to death has FAILED! And my tuna melts are only a little overdone, so you haven't even ruined my dinner. Muahhahahaa!

I have been reading Japanese Ghost Stories, a book I got from www.bookdepository.co.uk (FREE WORLDWIDE SHIPPING!) and have been dismayed to find that it contains very few actual ghost stories. Most of the book is about psychic phenomena, which is interesting enough in and of itself, but should be found in a book called Japanese Psychic Phenomena so it doesn't mislead unsavvy collectors of ghost books like me into buying it. And I would be more interested to read about the phenomena if the book were written by someone with an unbiased eye. Like, say, not someone who considers themselves to be a freaking shaman. There's nothing wrong with saying "hey, I'm a shaman. I will heal your ass and write books about that girl from the ring and her photographs". Call yourself whatever you want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone (I'm a pretty airplane! Board me!). But he doesn't exactly look at both sides of the issue. So all 'facts' presented could really be bullshit, or hopes, or wishes, or ~dreams~. By the same token, I always enjoy ghost books written by randoms more than the ones written by the people with ghost tour companies, because you can never tell if those ones are making shit up to get you to go on their tours.

I wanted to read about onryo and Oiwa-san, not faith healing. There IS a chapter about modern hauntings but one chapter out of many is disappointing. Next I shall move on to my Queer Hauntings book. I am excited. And since it wasn't written by a guy claiming to be a gay ghost, I think I will enjoy it much more than this one.

It seems the worst of the snowpocalypse might be over, which is good. I don't know when things will open again, but it will be nice not to feel stuck at home. Not that I go anywhere these days, but I like it to be an option. It does mean Alison will fly away from us tomorrow, waahhhh. Let's not focus on that, or the fact that a virus deleted the essay I had mostly finished so I had to write 2,100 words for it last night. I kicked it's arse though. Thanks to my own personal cheerleader. His name is Simon!

So here is a pictorial account of the last few days. It is awesome and features mostly cats, my bathrobe, Jen in an awesome costume, a lot of me (some upsidedown) and a photo that looks like I am choking Ariadne. I was not.

( Listen close to everybody's heart )