It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I just talked myself out of the sexiest shoes. They would have made me nearly seven feet tall, no exaggeration. But what I need if I am going to interviews are sensible shoes not LOOK I AM AN AMAZON.

But LOOK AT THEM!

Shoelust.

This is what I get for being an adult. Why can't I have the shoes I would legitimately wear nowhere?! Stupid logic. Humph.

They looked so good on me, you guys. I never used to wear heels because first of all I am six feet tall and I worry about towering over people, and secondly I am...uncoordinated is a nice way of putting it. But heels which are not spikey I can handle walking in. And they make my legs look awesome.

Maybe if I get a position I can get sexy shoes which are completely impractical and make me a giant. I dream big, y'all. So today instead of shoes, I bought grape soda so I could indulge in a little American nostalgia.

Nostalgia apparently tastes like grapey ass.

I DID STAINED GLASS! And despite the fact that my hands shake like a mofo, I managed to complete my entire little butterfly in one class and she said it would probably take two. And the lady said it was really good! My shaky hands don't actually matter because you can always fix seams and grind the edges of glass so yay!

So next week I am going to start a stained glass shamrock. Predictable I may be, but husha your face. So now I want to make a little stained glass thingy for each of the housemates. Too bad I doubt I will be able to find an easy kakapo pattern for Alison ;) But I will find something! It's so fun too! I have no artistic skills so this is good. And you get to crack glass. >:D!

Anyway, Missoula with my Pants was awesome. We had a great time. We watched Supernatural and basically went out to eat at all the places we loved when we lived together. And we went to the Hickory Farms booth and Jayann bought a million sausages. Okay two, but they were huge. And I bought smoky cheese. And also mints. Anyway, it was a good time. And I managed to come home with like...dozens of candy canes. Stupid Wal-Mart.

But yay, stained glass! (I just wrote sainted. Dear LORD, Lara.)

I just took this IQ test for funsies (I was watching QI and they were talking about IQ) and it says I'm ~gifted~. So that's a nice little boon to have at 9 in the morning.

Also I woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep. And all I could think was "OH YAY I'M NORMAL AGAIN" because I never used to be able to sleep and since May I haven't been able to stay awake and even when I am I'm exhausted. I feel fine now. I so hope this isn't still just the magic effects of the Vitamin D which will taper off. I don't want to turn back into a zombie again. I can think now and it's awesome. You never realise how bad something actually is until you don't feel it any more and you can compare.

CURE ME, FALSE SUNSHINE IN MY VEINS!

The LFoD is so clean. The kitchen, you should see it. CLEAN. Laura came over to keep me company yesterday too and we had curry and pie and watched Ghost Hunters International. I love that show, hush.

Once I finish the episode of QI I paused in order to take validating online IQ tests, I shall write more and more and more! Taking all the opportunity I can to do so, in case this bout of normalcy goes away!

Helios just ran across my face. Boys, pfft.

EDIT: Helios is actually chewing on my knee through the duvet. Then Echo pounced him and he got all pissy because she interrupted his...chewing. I have no idea what he is even doing. But it made me giggle.

Probably that will stop if he rips my duvet cover!

I just wrote 8,099 words in Darker London. I haven't written anything significant there since February at least. And today was 11 scenes (one backdated). And I feel more like myself than I have in months.

I forgot how good just writing by myself can feel, not that I am saying it's better than writing with someone else. It's just different because you have to create everything from start to finish and all of it in between. I opened windows and had no idea what I was going to wrote about and things flowed. It's been FOREVER since I was able to do that. Everything has to be planned and thought of beforehand recently and if it isn't planned it doesn't happen. But not today, this was just "I want to write for Deirdre" BAM. Scene.

It's like a weight lifted off my chest that I didn't even know was there. I love my creative outlets. But Darker London will always own my soul because those characters are mine and not borrowed from elsewhere. And it feels good to write something that is absolutely and completely yours and to write it yourself. I love writing with other people, but I did this all by myself and I am proud I finally could again.

Fuck, I feel awesome.

Oh HELL yeah! My vocabulary is estimated to be 33,700 words.

Now I am going to look up the ones I didn't know. Because words? They're friggin awesome, you guys.

For most of today I was reading over one of my characters I am bringing from Darker London over to Strays. He is a philosophy student, and my outlet for philosophical nerding. Therefore, that is where I put all my jokes I think are hilarious but everyone else kind of looks at me funny. Yeah. I was reading old entries and threads with him and laughing about how awesome I am ;) Postmodernism jokes FTW.

Quinn chuckled. "You sound half toasted already, might as well surrender to the fumes, eh?! Oh my god, Eamon, I just realised what to go as to the philosophy department's Halloween party!"

"A fume?" Eamon asked, his eyebrows raised.

"No!" Quinn stuck his tongue out as his brother. "I'm going to go as postmodernism! I'll wear, 'this is a Halloween costume' on a sign around my neck and...oh god, no. It's too easy."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL stfu, that is HILARIOUS.

Then I just spent two hours looking up icons and pictures from Asian horror films in order to app Oiwa-san tomorrow at FS. Now I think the worst idea would be to watch The Ring or The Grudge before bed.

So guess what I am doing?

God, I love horror movies. They own my soul.

(And today was a much better day :))

Leah: "I have to think of a medieval Scottish name."
Me: (just pulling out first Scottish name I could think of. "Macbeth!"
Leah: "Yes. I am going to name my female kelpie Macbetha."
Me: "...Macbethany?"

Christ I am so clever it hurts me sometimes.

No, like...really. I laughed so hard at this (I tend to find myself funnier than anyone else does, something that always baffles me because like...I am amazing...) and it hurt my stupid chest.

Sitting in class today was excruciating. And then don't even get me started on how the rest of the day sucked major ass. At least I am home now with my girls, ignoring the rest of the shitty world.

Yesterday I woke up and it was hard to breathe. Why, say you? Because apparently my body decided what would add to the happiness of this traumatic event was getting sick. And because my nose was blocked and I was sleeping with my mouth open and my throat was sore, ...wait for it... my uvula swelled up to three times it's normal size. It was so big I couldn't talk. I am not exaggerating. It was so freakish I thought I was dreaming at first and had to convince myself I was awake.

It panicked me, but thankfully I seem to be resourceful even when being sure I was about to choke on my own mouth (and I kept imagining people would be like 'yeah she was fine after the earthquake, but then she choked on herself). I took anti-inflammatory pills and then looked up swollen uvulas online. Apparently they're not that rare, but I have never felt anything like it. It said to eat something cold so I ate a popsicle and then booked in a doctor's appointment. By the time I left the house the swelling was down, but my throat still hurt quite bad.

It took me two hours to get from my house to the campus health centre. It should only take about a half an hour, but the traffic and the waiting and augh. And then the doctor told me I was fine, I just had a cold and she told me to get anti-inflammatory spray from the chemist. I think I asked her 75 questions, including "how the hell does this even happen" and she was very patient and calmed me down.

I think it was best that I was forced to leave the house. Nothing bad happened. Now I know I can leave the house without the city falling down. I'm a little less traumatised. Of course, now I'm sick. :|

I had a dream that had boiling water and falling down houses and blarrrr. The aftershocks are still scary and big and yuck.

The yelly entry was fun, wasn't it? Aren't I a ball of sunshine in the morning?!

Exam was awesome. All easy. And I might hate my brain for being talkyanxious when trying to sleep and keep me up, but my memory is so fricking kick ass. I studied a year's worth of material for 45 minutes. I remembered everything I read and had no trouble writing it up in essay form as usual. So there are good sides to having a brain that won't quit. I rely on you, memory. You haven't failed me yet. When you eventually do, I will have a little cry.

Speaking of crying, on the bus there was a Peter. Also a man who smelled of wee. I had to move because my stupid gag reflex is stronger than I am (seriously if it were in a game of tug-of-war, it would win against anything). I am so sorry, man I don't know. I can't help it. I even gagged once I got off the bus because I remembered the smell. I can't do wees smell when it's powerful like that. I felt like SUCH a bitch moving away, but it was that or vomit.

Then I went out with classmates and got told if I didn't come out more often I was in trouble because I am a hoot. Respect.

Then I got home and it took forever to get out of my jeans and into my pajama bottoms because my kitten insisted on being lifted up every time I put her down (she jumps up on you and reaches up asking to come up and you can't NOT pick her up when she does it) and then she rubbed her face all over mine and that is the best welcome home ever.

Now I feel like I am dying on the inside. Oh god. Sleep dep and blood sugar imbalance and uururrggghhhhh *cries*

I may or may not be having wine. Bubbly, pink wine, whooo. Also Dylan Moran is on the telly being all Irishy. And before, we watched The Shining. It was funny :)

So...I submitted an essay on the ecological perspective and how it relates to social work, and I figured it was C work. I wasn't happy with it at all. This isn't the kind of essay I'm good at. I'm good at talking about historical events and talking about contributions of literature or even doing lit crit, but like science of the mind stuff and relating it to a profession, eeeiiiiii.

I wasn't happy, but apparently my lecturer was. I got an A. I got 87%, in fact. The lecturer said "good use of the text to back up your arguments". Yeah, I did that because I didn't have any arguments... I am so flipping amused! And I got an A on my exam as well. WHOOHOOO!

Quite pleased.

Lewi tomorrow :D