It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I just talked myself out of the sexiest shoes. They would have made me nearly seven feet tall, no exaggeration. But what I need if I am going to interviews are sensible shoes not LOOK I AM AN AMAZON.

But LOOK AT THEM!

Shoelust.

This is what I get for being an adult. Why can't I have the shoes I would legitimately wear nowhere?! Stupid logic. Humph.

They looked so good on me, you guys. I never used to wear heels because first of all I am six feet tall and I worry about towering over people, and secondly I am...uncoordinated is a nice way of putting it. But heels which are not spikey I can handle walking in. And they make my legs look awesome.

Maybe if I get a position I can get sexy shoes which are completely impractical and make me a giant. I dream big, y'all. So today instead of shoes, I bought grape soda so I could indulge in a little American nostalgia.

Nostalgia apparently tastes like grapey ass.

Cantabrians, Treat Me (http://www.treatme.co.nz/Christchurch) has a deal for a $79 dentist check up and clean. I totally took that, since as a poor student I can't usually afford the dentist. Now to book in before heading to the US. Which is difficult since much of my time before I head off, we're going South to Fiordland. Though if I don't use the booking before I head off, I have until the 2nd of Feb. I'd like to do it before though. YAY dentist!

Guy Fawkes was awesome. I hate fireworks and since I live two houses away from Firework Park, I decided to partake in some Bravery Vodka in the form of vodka and oranges. Better than anything else where you can taste the alcohol, bleh. Apparently I spent a great deal of time hugging people and clinging to Alison's leg. And Woot says I nommed his ankle. I also professed my love for Simon about 20 times and called him pretty, according to him. Spamming Tumblr askboxes is so classy. Hey, at least I'm an affectionate drinker. And now that Guy Fawkes is over, let's just NOT have more Bravery Vodka. Until next year.

I have to say, it did help. Instead of screaming and hiding and crying, I was lying on the grass and staring up as the fireworks went off above me. It was pretty.

Now if only all my friends were well again, that would make me happy! In the meantime, I will settle for walking to the store once it's open, and purchasing and eating a chicken. Yep.

EDIT: DENTIST BOOKED for Wednesday at 9:30am. Woot! Now to the store for chickens!

EDIT 2: AUUUUGGHHHHHHH I opened the door to let Helios Tiberius Fassbender in and a white-tailed spider FELL ON ME! AAUUUGGGHHHH HEART-ATTACK SPIDER! So I killed it in the midst of my freaking out and then felt bad I didn't just trap it under something and relocate it. Sorry, spider. But pls no falling on me.

So last night I had a slasher dream. Considering how much I love slasher movies, one might think I embraced the chance to have a new one all up in my head that I didn't even need to pay admission for. Not necessarily so. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how much arse I kicked by thinking on my feet.

It started off that I was crawling through a tunnel (lol no) while exploring NYC with Eva Amurri (Susan Sarandon's daughter. Why? Don't ask me) and the killer got into the other end of the tunnel and crawled towards us so we had to crawl super fast to get away. Most of the rest of the dream took place in an office building we were partying in because why not party after being chased by a masked killer, amirite? And then he tracked us down OH NOES. It was basically me trying to avoid the cliche masked baddie by doing awesome things and then watching lots of people die because I wasn't awesome enough to save everyone, alas. But I actually scoured the building we were all trapped in (it was a Halloween party and we were all in costumes) for things to help me survive like a video game heroine, bitches. I found a knife and a gun and apparently a holster to carry them in (yeah, I don't know...) and like ninja throwing stars I totally used, and well.

Then I was in the elevator with some other scared people and the thing stalled. The door opened between floors and the killer was on the bottom floor with a chainsaw he somehow scrounged up in this office building we were partying in. He jammed the thing into the opening and chainsawed away while the others screamed. I risked my flesh to jam the stop button so it wouldn't inch down any further towards the waiting killer and then I got us all out the top of the elevator and up to the floor above. Why the killer didn't just run up the stairs and head us off, I don't know. But hush, I'm being a heroine here.

Then we were on the first floor (NOT the ground floor, Yanks. One floor above ground) and I found a window near a tree. I tried it and it was unlocked so I ushered the people I was with out the window and then shimmied down the tree myself so I could call the cops on ze killer. They arrived and then I realised it MUST be a TRAP because the window wouldn't be left open on accident. I don't even know how this killer was going to somehow take out like dozens of police officers but if Michael Meyers taught us anything in Halloween 2, it's that no matter how many people he was up against, he still just slashed right through them and kept on going. So I made the police go into the party, via the window, dressed in Halloween costumes and roughed up a little bit so they would look like partygoers and take the killer by surprise. Again, not sure how that was supposed to work, but HUSH BECAUSE I SAVED THE DAY.

They police took him out and then all the survivors who had been at the party signed up for the police force except me. I became an informant. And the moral of the story (besides how awesome I totally am) is that all you need to do to join the police force is be totally ineffective against a masked killer and yet be lucky enough to survive anyway.

In reality I am much less ninja-throwing-star wielding and more annoyed that my arse hurts. Because of my exercise bike, people. Sheesh.

I just took this IQ test for funsies (I was watching QI and they were talking about IQ) and it says I'm ~gifted~. So that's a nice little boon to have at 9 in the morning.

Also I woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep. And all I could think was "OH YAY I'M NORMAL AGAIN" because I never used to be able to sleep and since May I haven't been able to stay awake and even when I am I'm exhausted. I feel fine now. I so hope this isn't still just the magic effects of the Vitamin D which will taper off. I don't want to turn back into a zombie again. I can think now and it's awesome. You never realise how bad something actually is until you don't feel it any more and you can compare.

CURE ME, FALSE SUNSHINE IN MY VEINS!

The LFoD is so clean. The kitchen, you should see it. CLEAN. Laura came over to keep me company yesterday too and we had curry and pie and watched Ghost Hunters International. I love that show, hush.

Once I finish the episode of QI I paused in order to take validating online IQ tests, I shall write more and more and more! Taking all the opportunity I can to do so, in case this bout of normalcy goes away!

Helios just ran across my face. Boys, pfft.

EDIT: Helios is actually chewing on my knee through the duvet. Then Echo pounced him and he got all pissy because she interrupted his...chewing. I have no idea what he is even doing. But it made me giggle.

Probably that will stop if he rips my duvet cover!

Oh HELL yeah! My vocabulary is estimated to be 33,700 words.

Now I am going to look up the ones I didn't know. Because words? They're friggin awesome, you guys.

For most of today I was reading over one of my characters I am bringing from Darker London over to Strays. He is a philosophy student, and my outlet for philosophical nerding. Therefore, that is where I put all my jokes I think are hilarious but everyone else kind of looks at me funny. Yeah. I was reading old entries and threads with him and laughing about how awesome I am ;) Postmodernism jokes FTW.

Quinn chuckled. "You sound half toasted already, might as well surrender to the fumes, eh?! Oh my god, Eamon, I just realised what to go as to the philosophy department's Halloween party!"

"A fume?" Eamon asked, his eyebrows raised.

"No!" Quinn stuck his tongue out as his brother. "I'm going to go as postmodernism! I'll wear, 'this is a Halloween costume' on a sign around my neck and...oh god, no. It's too easy."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL stfu, that is HILARIOUS.

Then I just spent two hours looking up icons and pictures from Asian horror films in order to app Oiwa-san tomorrow at FS. Now I think the worst idea would be to watch The Ring or The Grudge before bed.

So guess what I am doing?

God, I love horror movies. They own my soul.

(And today was a much better day :))

Leah: "I have to think of a medieval Scottish name."
Me: (just pulling out first Scottish name I could think of. "Macbeth!"
Leah: "Yes. I am going to name my female kelpie Macbetha."
Me: "...Macbethany?"

Christ I am so clever it hurts me sometimes.

No, like...really. I laughed so hard at this (I tend to find myself funnier than anyone else does, something that always baffles me because like...I am amazing...) and it hurt my stupid chest.

Sitting in class today was excruciating. And then don't even get me started on how the rest of the day sucked major ass. At least I am home now with my girls, ignoring the rest of the shitty world.

I am going to repeat what I said here about stupid days and their stupid customs.

April 1st is tomorrow here. And the day after everywhere else. If you play jokes on me, I will hate you for life. I am the most gullible person in the world, I don't get sarcasm, and I fricking HATE April 1st. If you want to be original, save it for another day (or...like...don't be an ass).

DO NOT play jokes on me. I am not kidding. My nerves are shot as it is.

Dear Self,

You are almost thirty. I know you like Rob Zombie and Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson, but headbanging on your knees on the floor, even to cheer your damn self up, is probably not the best idea. You will spend the next day walking around like you are fifty years older than you actually are. Which isn't very fun, is it? No. No, it's not.

It was still awesome though.

Much Love,

Me



Also I hate my printer. But I love you! Today is much better, despite my sore everything. I haven't curled up in a ball on the floor once today. Progress!

Right, so like...back when I was getting my hair dyed in a salon, I put a reminder on my Barbie Dream Phone (called thus because it is Barbie Dream Pink) that would let me know when 5 weeks had passed so I would book in. I have since forgotten to take it OFF my phone, since it usually would go off at 9am and usually at 9am I have the phone off. Like a frickin' genius, I titled this reminder 'remember' because I didn't know what to call it and I felt too pressured to come up with something clever, okay!? Today, however, totally made up for it when I woke up to the damn thing going off and then it read:

'Remember' Remember: 5th November - Hair Dye Appt.

Which...you know...is less poetic than gunpowder, treason and plot, but it made my morning. I may have snorted so loud it hurt my nose...

Soon I'll blog about how last night was like the Best Night Ever, but I have to go deal with passports first. :D