It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

Feeling energetic enough to write but no one is around. WOE. Clearly I shall solve this by updating most of my Strays characters and refreshing to see if I get replies until I eventually fall asleep! Stupid random!energy. I got so tired after changing my sheets and making my bed today that I had to take a nap.

In summary, chronic fatigue sucks and I wish I could like hear back from the damn hospital about what step to take next but being on the waiting list does mean waiting. HUMPH.

BUT. The guy who is fixing my computer finally got the new LCD panel he was waiting for and so now he can install it and make sure it works. He says I should have my computer by Monday. Which OH MY GOD, REALLY?! YAY YAY YAY! I can go back on AIM and type without having to fix every second word!

You guys. I can play Sims. ;)

Birthday party with a 3-D TARDIS cake is awesome! This entire year was a Doctor Who year. I got a pen with a floating TARDIS, a TARDIS mug and a sonic screwdriver flashlight. The ninth/tenth doctor's of course. While Three is my favourite, his sonic screwdriver was this weird thing with red and yellow bits and it whirled and I did not love it. And Eleven's is wanky-doodle-dandy.

The most impressive part of this though is that I just lasted from 7-11pm at a party. Being social. And I have only retired to my room because I am tired now. But I talked and I was SO charming. Hurrah!

TARDIS cake!

(All my Doctor Who icons have been deactivated because my subscription to extra userpics ran out dammit!)

I had a little brain power today, hurrah!

Tomorrow I have to do medication-getting and grocery shopping and adult-being which is like such a total drag, you guys. But today I did writing and talking and being silly. And I ate a chocolate self-saucing pudding which I had never had before. Peter made it and it was awesome! And Woot made satay chicken which was delightful.

Here's hoping my brain power continues until tomorrow while I run my errands.

But whatever. I got this in the mail today. So pretty.

So you know how when some people get old and boring all they talk about is their health?

...

Yesterday I got the results of the blood test I took two weeks ago. All the good things were positive and all the bad things were negative so that's good. Except that my folate levels were low. Apparently it happens in people with CFS. Normal levels are 170-600 and mine were at around 130. Apparently under 110 nerve damage can start happening so I'm glad they caught that! So they gave me a B12 shot. It was red and it felt like it was flooding my arm with pain when it went in, but I don't mind.

I had to have another blood test too. I don't even remember what all they are testing for this time except caeliac's disease or something to do with it. Really though, all the tests are good. Making sure everything is working is handy and they wouldn't have caught this folate thing if it weren't for the tests!

Hopefully the B12 and the high dose vitamin D I am on will start to give me some kind of improvement. I am still too tired to write anything not personal, which makes me sad! It's my escape but I can't focus on it! And then I fall asleep. Apparently I talked to Alison in my sleep yesterday. Oops!

And really, my mood is awesome. So I can't complain about that! With all this going on, I still feel lovely mood-wise. And that's so great.

I had energy yesterday so I cleaned my room and did dishes and shopping (twice!) and then I was social with people who came over.

Today I am paying for it because I have spent the entire day in bed sleeping on and off. I am still so tired I could sleep more but I just had a 4 hour nap after being awake only for an hour after the two hour nap I took before that.

I regret nothing though. My room makes me so happy. It's gorgeous and it's mine and I love it. I still have to dust and vacuum before I put the rug I ordered in, but it looks so good anyway. It's the little things! ;)

Been avoiding my journal because LJ pisses me off. So here's a quick update:

Back in New Zealand. Being in the US and avoiding real life was awesome. Now I have to do actual decisions though. Calling WINZ tomorrow to look in to going on disability for chronic fatigue since I still completely crash out of nowhere and just can't do anything. Then I need to up my meds because being sick for so long is depressing and what I'm on isn't enough any more.

Also I have a cold which I am sure I got from the plane.

BUT I am back with my kitties and my housemates. They are such lovely people. I couldn't ask for better people to be with while I slog my way through this.

Once I figure out what I am doing next year, then I need to just get better. Because really? I'd like my life to continue and it feels like it has just stalled. I don't like it.

My sister and her family are leaving and I'm totally bummed because they're basically my favourite everything.

I thought I would get some things done today after they left because I wouldn't have as many people occupying my time. But I woke up this morning shaky and sick. My hands always shake, but they're doing so visibly. And my kneecaps are shaking. Which is a really weird feeling. I can't tell if it's bloodsugar or extreme tiredness or something else. But basically blah to the extreme.

And I am not pleased to see more more more shaking in Christchurch as well. Dammit.

Last night I went to bed at 7 pm and woke up around 2 am. I watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special (and cried my eyes out at the end of it <3) and then fell asleep again. My mother just came to wake me up. It's 3 pm.

WELL. THAT'S A LOT OF SLEEP.

Stupid chronic fatigue.

But Christmas was lovely! And I had a dream that the girls and Woot and I moved into a new flat (I don't know why...) and it was haunted by these protective ghosts. And there was a stream in the backyard. And the kitchen was awesome. But you know, I AM rather partial to the LFoD so I don't know why I keep dreaming that the girls and Woot and I go apartment hunting. I think it's just because I like buildings.

I blame www.foxtons.co.uk No. Really.

I feel like I have been all over the universe today but we just went to buy yarn and stuff. Stupid chronic fatigue. My niece and her friend Tatum came over the other day and we had a BLAST and then I slept for like 14 hours. And they were only here from 2 to 8. Six hours of energy expenditure = 14 hours of sleep for recovery. Son of a biscuit.

And now I will go learn to crochet. And then I will write things because my soul needs expressing :D And then more sleep.

Oh. And stupid Silence in Doctor Who. Stupid, creepy, Silencey stupidheads. Ahem.

If they EVER reveal the Doctor's name, I will have a shitfit. I am not kidding.

My yahoo mail is still not working. Humph. But I am in the US and safe and tired. And it's snowy here. Poos. But I had mommy hugs :D

Also my parent's house has heated floors, which you don't notice on the carpets, but I just went into the bathroom and it freaked me right out before I remembered.

Now I will sleep because I'm dying. But <3