It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

Feeling energetic enough to write but no one is around. WOE. Clearly I shall solve this by updating most of my Strays characters and refreshing to see if I get replies until I eventually fall asleep! Stupid random!energy. I got so tired after changing my sheets and making my bed today that I had to take a nap.

In summary, chronic fatigue sucks and I wish I could like hear back from the damn hospital about what step to take next but being on the waiting list does mean waiting. HUMPH.

BUT. The guy who is fixing my computer finally got the new LCD panel he was waiting for and so now he can install it and make sure it works. He says I should have my computer by Monday. Which OH MY GOD, REALLY?! YAY YAY YAY! I can go back on AIM and type without having to fix every second word!

You guys. I can play Sims. ;)

People keep trying to date me. It's really awkward. I'm trying to be subtle and nice about it but arrgghhhh take a hint. The strange thing is I always get texts from her when I am texting someone else. And as I rarely use my phone, it's like she's watching me, and she knows when I have my phone in my hand and then she texts RIGHT THEN just to get in there! I almost dropped my phone in shock yesterday when I was texting Alison something and BAM. Happened again after a week of silence. Message from her.

*Twilight Zone theme song*

But other than stalky phone times, the past few days have been awesome! And I threw up in a park, so that goes to show they were pretty eventful (before anyone assumes anything alcohol was not involved. Just my body being special). I also got new shoes and spent 12 hours yesterday sleeping! But our kitchen has new paint and the wall dude says the wallpaper in the lounge might be done by Wednesday. Then we can put our new sexy curtains up!

My legs hurt from spending a half an hour walking on a trail. Ahahhaha fail!fitness!

EDIT: Random dog just came over and chased the cats all around. Reminds me of the time we let fake!Jet in and he ate Lewi's sandwich and knocked over a bunch of stuff before we realised it wasn't Jet and we felt all violated because some stranger dog had come in and messed everything up.

So you know how when some people get old and boring all they talk about is their health?

...

Yesterday I got the results of the blood test I took two weeks ago. All the good things were positive and all the bad things were negative so that's good. Except that my folate levels were low. Apparently it happens in people with CFS. Normal levels are 170-600 and mine were at around 130. Apparently under 110 nerve damage can start happening so I'm glad they caught that! So they gave me a B12 shot. It was red and it felt like it was flooding my arm with pain when it went in, but I don't mind.

I had to have another blood test too. I don't even remember what all they are testing for this time except caeliac's disease or something to do with it. Really though, all the tests are good. Making sure everything is working is handy and they wouldn't have caught this folate thing if it weren't for the tests!

Hopefully the B12 and the high dose vitamin D I am on will start to give me some kind of improvement. I am still too tired to write anything not personal, which makes me sad! It's my escape but I can't focus on it! And then I fall asleep. Apparently I talked to Alison in my sleep yesterday. Oops!

And really, my mood is awesome. So I can't complain about that! With all this going on, I still feel lovely mood-wise. And that's so great.

I had energy yesterday so I cleaned my room and did dishes and shopping (twice!) and then I was social with people who came over.

Today I am paying for it because I have spent the entire day in bed sleeping on and off. I am still so tired I could sleep more but I just had a 4 hour nap after being awake only for an hour after the two hour nap I took before that.

I regret nothing though. My room makes me so happy. It's gorgeous and it's mine and I love it. I still have to dust and vacuum before I put the rug I ordered in, but it looks so good anyway. It's the little things! ;)

My house mates are currently hanging out at a Dresden Dolls soundcheck. I am so excited for them. Then they will be at the concert which I am not going to because I don't really enjoy concerts. I did go to the ninja gig yesterday though and it was awesome. My favourite part was actually talking to Hera but shhh. It was AWESOME and I got some kickass photos.

I have to go to the doctor tomorrow for more blood tests just to make sure everything is still okay in the face of this fatigue. Then I am sending off like 5 applications. Today my doctor upped my does of citalopram so I can fight the depression as well as the anxiety. Of course the first week after you mess with meds is always crappy. I might wait until tomorrow after I get the blood test so I don't panic about leaving the house. At least needles don't bother me! But no reason to make myself feel worse before attempting to arrange things. Blah.

I have a cold so I am currently lamenting that I can't sing! Yesterday in an attempt not to spread my disease to Amanda Palmer I told her no hugs and so she headbutted my hip. It was amusing. I wouldn't hug Hera either so she airhugged me!

Hopefully I'll get myself sorted soon. I have a doctor note for sickness benefit. So now I just have to send it in.

Been avoiding my journal because LJ pisses me off. So here's a quick update:

Back in New Zealand. Being in the US and avoiding real life was awesome. Now I have to do actual decisions though. Calling WINZ tomorrow to look in to going on disability for chronic fatigue since I still completely crash out of nowhere and just can't do anything. Then I need to up my meds because being sick for so long is depressing and what I'm on isn't enough any more.

Also I have a cold which I am sure I got from the plane.

BUT I am back with my kitties and my housemates. They are such lovely people. I couldn't ask for better people to be with while I slog my way through this.

Once I figure out what I am doing next year, then I need to just get better. Because really? I'd like my life to continue and it feels like it has just stalled. I don't like it.

My sister and her family are leaving and I'm totally bummed because they're basically my favourite everything.

I thought I would get some things done today after they left because I wouldn't have as many people occupying my time. But I woke up this morning shaky and sick. My hands always shake, but they're doing so visibly. And my kneecaps are shaking. Which is a really weird feeling. I can't tell if it's bloodsugar or extreme tiredness or something else. But basically blah to the extreme.

And I am not pleased to see more more more shaking in Christchurch as well. Dammit.

Last night I went to bed at 7 pm and woke up around 2 am. I watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special (and cried my eyes out at the end of it <3) and then fell asleep again. My mother just came to wake me up. It's 3 pm.

WELL. THAT'S A LOT OF SLEEP.

Stupid chronic fatigue.

But Christmas was lovely! And I had a dream that the girls and Woot and I moved into a new flat (I don't know why...) and it was haunted by these protective ghosts. And there was a stream in the backyard. And the kitchen was awesome. But you know, I AM rather partial to the LFoD so I don't know why I keep dreaming that the girls and Woot and I go apartment hunting. I think it's just because I like buildings.

I blame www.foxtons.co.uk No. Really.

I feel like I have been all over the universe today but we just went to buy yarn and stuff. Stupid chronic fatigue. My niece and her friend Tatum came over the other day and we had a BLAST and then I slept for like 14 hours. And they were only here from 2 to 8. Six hours of energy expenditure = 14 hours of sleep for recovery. Son of a biscuit.

And now I will go learn to crochet. And then I will write things because my soul needs expressing :D And then more sleep.

Oh. And stupid Silence in Doctor Who. Stupid, creepy, Silencey stupidheads. Ahem.

If they EVER reveal the Doctor's name, I will have a shitfit. I am not kidding.

I was in the crappiest mood (hormones lol) and then suddenly I'm all excited and happy. Thanks a lot, body. You're lovely.

BUT I am going to learn to crochet tomorrow! So I can make scarves! I so want a Doctor Who scarf homg. And we're going shopping for wool so my mother can make me some potholders and dish cloths for our LFoD kitchen. Also I am looking at the easy patterns for stained glass so I can start more projects. I have this gorgeous triple shamrock pattern I will make for me, but I am going to make that one at the class. I can do the easy ones in the basement. My mother set up a workshop because she's adorable. We're also looking for presents for the niece and nephews as well.

And then my sister and her family get here on Thursday. And on Friday I might go to Sherlock Holmes 2 with Maliky and Travis which yayyyy! I am so excited :D

<3