It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I have been looking forward to going to the US because being here in the city of Aftershocks and Gloom hasn't been great for the old brainpan. But my trip to Te Anau and various made me feel so incredibly good. So now I'm all "wah, I have to leave my home for two months!" It does make it better than I get my family though :D But I will miss my friends and my cats and my house and my housemates and all the things. In the long run, two months isn't too long. Just feels like it right now!

So in 10 and a half hours I will wake up and take a shower and then I will head for the airport. Then I will be in Sydney before heading to the US. I get to see my cousin in San Francisco, and then my mommy in Helena, Montana. I can catch up on writing all the things, since there are few distractions in Montana, especially in winter.

I feel so much better though. It's...awesome. I just really needed to get out of this city, even though I love it so much. Touring the south island of NZ was amazing. This county is gorgeous and I think, despite wanting to leave it for the UK for a while, I think I kind of want to stay. We'll see how things go. But I feel at home here. It's lovely.

So now I have to clean my room for Woot to move in to it for two months. I should vacuum for him too, since the floor is covered with catfood. Echo is a messy eater. I can't wait until I can come back and cuddle the kitties again though! I will miss my babies!

It is hot today. As an aside. It's gross.

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I have several best friends, but my Jayann-pants has become part of the family because she's been my best friend for so long. No really, she just visited my parents and sister when I wasn't even there.

I've known her since I was 12. Her friend Leah was my science lab partner and I met her through Leah. I'm 30 now, so she has been my best friend for 18 years. Our friendship is now a legal adult. It's awesome :D

Recent history being what is has been, I feel like none of my entries lately have shown my trademark silliness. This is for obvious reasons, being that it's hard to be silly when there are still soldiers barring you from entering your city, you keep having panic attacks, and you spend most of your time sleeping. But I do miss writing ridiculous things that probably only I giggle about.

So getting this out of the way, I went to sleep last night at 8 and woke up at 8 in the morning. I struggled to stay awake until about 11 when I finally gave in. I decided it would be best to have a whizz before I crawled back into bed, and I was so tired that the energy it took to go into the bathroom made me cry. So then I slept until 8 tonight. And I am still tired (my head feels too heavy to hold up) but I haven't cried yet, so that's...kind of like progress! And I have tuna melts. So it's progress with melted cheese.

Speaking of tuna melts, my housemates are trying to kill me in really subtle and underhanded ways.

Leah did all the dishes (bless her). I usually do them, but since I have been sleeping...the effect there is obvious. I think in revenge she removed the wombat-shaped oven mitt from the kitchen. This may seem like it is of no consequence, but it is of huge consequence when you have tuna melts in the oven getting blacker and blacker and you can't find the damn wombat-glove. And my sleep-addled brain didn't think to just get a dishtowel and hope it was thick enough to save me from the burning sensations. No. I ran around in circles until I remembered we had other less awesome and less chompy oven mitts. They were nowhere to be seen either. I opened the drawer where the clean things live, usually known as the drawer where nothing is. And lo and behold, non-chompy oven mitts.

So ha HAH, Leah. Your crafty plan to burn me to death has FAILED! And my tuna melts are only a little overdone, so you haven't even ruined my dinner. Muahhahahaa!

I have been reading Japanese Ghost Stories, a book I got from www.bookdepository.co.uk (FREE WORLDWIDE SHIPPING!) and have been dismayed to find that it contains very few actual ghost stories. Most of the book is about psychic phenomena, which is interesting enough in and of itself, but should be found in a book called Japanese Psychic Phenomena so it doesn't mislead unsavvy collectors of ghost books like me into buying it. And I would be more interested to read about the phenomena if the book were written by someone with an unbiased eye. Like, say, not someone who considers themselves to be a freaking shaman. There's nothing wrong with saying "hey, I'm a shaman. I will heal your ass and write books about that girl from the ring and her photographs". Call yourself whatever you want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone (I'm a pretty airplane! Board me!). But he doesn't exactly look at both sides of the issue. So all 'facts' presented could really be bullshit, or hopes, or wishes, or ~dreams~. By the same token, I always enjoy ghost books written by randoms more than the ones written by the people with ghost tour companies, because you can never tell if those ones are making shit up to get you to go on their tours.

I wanted to read about onryo and Oiwa-san, not faith healing. There IS a chapter about modern hauntings but one chapter out of many is disappointing. Next I shall move on to my Queer Hauntings book. I am excited. And since it wasn't written by a guy claiming to be a gay ghost, I think I will enjoy it much more than this one.

If I haven't mentioned lately how much my mother rocks then here: my mother is pure awesome.

So I've been looking for birthday cards for you and haven't found the right one, so I gave up and decided I'd just confirm what I would have told you in the card-- that as long as you have the time at Christmas to come home, we will figure out how to get you here. If you have any $ to throw into the hat, that would be good, but your birthday/Christmas present will be whatever is needed to make up the difference for the ticket. If that's ok with you.

Uh. YEAH THAT'S OKAY WITH ME! Yay, Christmas with my family! I haven't had a Christmas that felt like Christmas since 2003. It's the one time of year I want snow and not summertime. And turkey and my mother's stuffing instead of a barbecue. Though Lewi's dad did do AWESOME and epic barbecues which always tasted of amazing, they still never felt right. Last year was good, but I still missed being in Montana.

And my sister and her family might be there too and just <3<3<3. This is what I needed right now when I feel sick and blah and hurgh. Perfect.

I've been sleeping better, and when I woke up with a funny feeling throat thanks to the cold I am developing, I didn't panic. Which is awesomely amazing. First time.

Yesterday I had class which went really well, except that I was 40 minutes late. Why? I walked to the vet to get a flea treatment for the new kitten, Echo. But when I had printed out my assignment, I had taken my wallet out of my bag to get my student ID to write it on the cover sheet. I did this at home, so at least I didn't leave my wallet somewhere public, but it wasn't in my bag at the vet's. :|. I had been planning on taking the bus from there to uni to turn in my medical withdrawal form and turn in my assignment with plenty of time to get to class. Except then I had to walk home. And then the bus was late. And then it stopped to let about 500 kids on, which is fine as that is what a bus is for, but they were stupid kids and took forever to wrestle before boarding the bus and then struggling to find their own wallets. And then the student services office had moved. And then I got lost trying to find it. And then I had to cross campus to turn in my assignment. And then the bus to the Dovedale campus took forever too. So yes. Late. But I didn't panic then either. Hurrah.

Today I have a meeting with Anxiety Support Canterbury. I am going to discuss counselling and group with work them. And I am not anxious about the meeting at all. I can't even describe how that feels.

So instead I am about to post 25 photos of kittens. Yesterday the sun was streaming in and since my flash is as bright as a thousand suns and washes everything out, I decided to take photos of the cats with natural light so people could see what they really looked like. And then the photos looked amazing. So I took like...150. Shut up, these are freaking gorgeous. The cats and the pictures ;)

( You should be glad there are only 25... )

Talked to my sister and my mother on the phone which was a grand way to spend the afternoon! My step-father is so adorably awesome, by the way.

Mom: "Larry, I'm on the phone with Lara, do you have any questions for her?"
Larry: "Is she happy?"

I'll tell you what, Larry, the fact that you asked that makes me very happy, indeed. You win all the things.

♥

My beautiful friend Elva (Ashes of Eve) is working on a solo project. So here be pimping.

http://www.elvamusic.com/

If you join the mailing list you receive a link for a free download of the newly re-recorded When I'm Sleeping.

If you want to hear some of her gorgeous music, head on over to http://www.reverbnation.com/elvamusic and you can listen to When I'm Sleeping and Moment (which I currently have on repeat because it's so amazingly gorgeous). Every play helps her out, so have a listen!

And a Facebook link too, just because http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Elva/158295504223274

Alison was supposed to go to bed but she just came out here to get a drink and there is no way that we could possibly ever explain the conversation that just occurred between us, but it was epic hilarity though it was the kind where you had to be there and now my stomach hurts from laughing. It was pure ridiculousness and we both laughed so hard, and I feel like I might vomit.

And then I thought, "you know what? I think I feel like this at least once a day." I think living in a house where you laugh so hard you think you might vomit at least once a day is pretty damn awesome, no matter what else is going on in my messed up little world.

Long live the LFoD and all it's denizens, past and present!

EDIT: For more examples of why the LFoD is the greatest place on Earth, I present Alison's Overheard in the LFoD tag in her journal which is chock full of hilarity and quotes.

My head hurts from laughing.

Been reading old entries from 2003, and in the midst of being annoyed at how completely dippidydoodah I was, I found this lovely entry which is talking about wanting to move to Vienna.

I had a job offer in Vienna in 2003 and I turned it down to go to Australia. I don't regret that at all, but reading that entry made me smile. I was still living in the US at the time when I wrote it, but I've been back to visit Vienna since. It's still my favourite city in the whole world. And reading that entry...that is still the way I feel about it. So many things about me have changed. I have changed. But my silly, dreamy feelings about my favourite place in the world are exactly the same. Which is really nice, actually!

(Also the LFoD watched Ed Wood. I love Ed Wood. And Johnny Depp. And Plan Nine from Outer Space. It made me happy!)

EDIT: HAHAHHAHAHA oh god. 21 year old, fangirl me. How many exclamation points do I NEED?!

Went out today to buy my White Wine in the Sun inspired LFoD presents for my girls today. Dear God.

Before I even made it out the door, I dumped a huge amount of water on myself because I am amazingly talented like that. So I changed my jeans and made it to the bus stop while listening to the TimPod. I had 4 minutes. And in my ears, Tim Minchin says in the middle of the song Dark Side:

"People always start clapping along there, but I'm about to do a piano solo and I can't keep time. So shut the fuck up."

Which I decided was hilarious because he said it so...Timly, so I spit the water I had just put into my mouth all over the jeans I had just put on. And the bus turned the corner, heading for me. Go home and change again because I apparently have a problem, or just deal with spittrousers?

I got on the bus. It was full of humans. One sat next to me and mouthbreathed all over my wet trousers. Mmmm. I got off and went shopping, with very little success. Got slammed into by what might have been the tallest woman I have ever seen, and I am six feet tall, okay? Then I got my dumplings (OH, SWEET DUMPLINGS) and came home on yet another full bus. Luckily no other liquids ended up on my trousers.

It has come to my attention that I spit-take a lot. No, really. The amount of people I have spit ON despite thinking spitting is disgusting, is unusually high. I think most people who know me in person have seen me do this. It's because I am full of laughter. :|

5 days until my Pants gets here. My best friend is coming to see where I live eeeeiiiiiiiiiii! It will be magical. And very loud. Poor Leah!