It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

Been avoiding my journal because LJ pisses me off. So here's a quick update:

Back in New Zealand. Being in the US and avoiding real life was awesome. Now I have to do actual decisions though. Calling WINZ tomorrow to look in to going on disability for chronic fatigue since I still completely crash out of nowhere and just can't do anything. Then I need to up my meds because being sick for so long is depressing and what I'm on isn't enough any more.

Also I have a cold which I am sure I got from the plane.

BUT I am back with my kitties and my housemates. They are such lovely people. I couldn't ask for better people to be with while I slog my way through this.

Once I figure out what I am doing next year, then I need to just get better. Because really? I'd like my life to continue and it feels like it has just stalled. I don't like it.

I have been looking forward to going to the US because being here in the city of Aftershocks and Gloom hasn't been great for the old brainpan. But my trip to Te Anau and various made me feel so incredibly good. So now I'm all "wah, I have to leave my home for two months!" It does make it better than I get my family though :D But I will miss my friends and my cats and my house and my housemates and all the things. In the long run, two months isn't too long. Just feels like it right now!

So in 10 and a half hours I will wake up and take a shower and then I will head for the airport. Then I will be in Sydney before heading to the US. I get to see my cousin in San Francisco, and then my mommy in Helena, Montana. I can catch up on writing all the things, since there are few distractions in Montana, especially in winter.

I feel so much better though. It's...awesome. I just really needed to get out of this city, even though I love it so much. Touring the south island of NZ was amazing. This county is gorgeous and I think, despite wanting to leave it for the UK for a while, I think I kind of want to stay. We'll see how things go. But I feel at home here. It's lovely.

So now I have to clean my room for Woot to move in to it for two months. I should vacuum for him too, since the floor is covered with catfood. Echo is a messy eater. I can't wait until I can come back and cuddle the kitties again though! I will miss my babies!

It is hot today. As an aside. It's gross.

Cantabrians, Treat Me (http://www.treatme.co.nz/Christchurch) has a deal for a $79 dentist check up and clean. I totally took that, since as a poor student I can't usually afford the dentist. Now to book in before heading to the US. Which is difficult since much of my time before I head off, we're going South to Fiordland. Though if I don't use the booking before I head off, I have until the 2nd of Feb. I'd like to do it before though. YAY dentist!

Guy Fawkes was awesome. I hate fireworks and since I live two houses away from Firework Park, I decided to partake in some Bravery Vodka in the form of vodka and oranges. Better than anything else where you can taste the alcohol, bleh. Apparently I spent a great deal of time hugging people and clinging to Alison's leg. And Woot says I nommed his ankle. I also professed my love for Simon about 20 times and called him pretty, according to him. Spamming Tumblr askboxes is so classy. Hey, at least I'm an affectionate drinker. And now that Guy Fawkes is over, let's just NOT have more Bravery Vodka. Until next year.

I have to say, it did help. Instead of screaming and hiding and crying, I was lying on the grass and staring up as the fireworks went off above me. It was pretty.

Now if only all my friends were well again, that would make me happy! In the meantime, I will settle for walking to the store once it's open, and purchasing and eating a chicken. Yep.

EDIT: DENTIST BOOKED for Wednesday at 9:30am. Woot! Now to the store for chickens!

EDIT 2: AUUUUGGHHHHHHH I opened the door to let Helios Tiberius Fassbender in and a white-tailed spider FELL ON ME! AAUUUGGGHHHH HEART-ATTACK SPIDER! So I killed it in the midst of my freaking out and then felt bad I didn't just trap it under something and relocate it. Sorry, spider. But pls no falling on me.

I don't know if I could ever possibly explain the hilarity of Alison and me trying to push/pull/drag/spin this rolling chest of drawers from the garage to the house. It is too heavy to carry and has no handles because it is meant to be rolled. But the ground is pebbley and dirty and the chest of drawers didn't want to go. So we dragged it awkwardly and drawers came out and it tipped funny and then we settled on walking it by tipping it one way and then the other so it ambled like R2-D2. This was after we have to move this huge thing in the garage to even get to the chest of drawers.

We giggled the entire time. And then Alison said she wouldn't have traded the experience for anything.

So now I have a chest of (Woot's) drawers so I can get my closet sorted, as I have been using my suitcase as pseudo-drawers for over a year now. Then I will hang up the rest of my pictures on the wall and my room will be all done! And I can post photos of my little paradise!

Now if only I could find a Papasan chair! I WANT ONE SO BAD YOU HAVE NO IDEA! And all the ones on Trade Me are too expensive and on the North Island. Screw you, Trade Me. GIVE ME A PAPASAN!

MMmm Scream 3 and tacos! I woke up early this morning to take Woot to the airport and so apparently this afternoon I decided I needed a four hour nap. I didn't even mean to fall asleep! Darnit!

Ariadne never goes after your food. It was so nice having a kitten who didn't crawl into your lap when you were eating. Helios is a different story, the little scrapper... But he's too cute to mind.

( See?! )

Last night I kept falling asleep while watching Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2010 and waking up when Jimmy Carr would laugh. He has a HORRIBLE laugh. It sounds a little like a donkey. HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW-HAW! So my sleep was riddled with consciousness of donkey laughs.

It was unique and new.

Now I am waiting for Alison to finish speaking to her aunt so we can go shopping (OMG she is taking SO LONG what a COW talking to her FAMILY instead of paying attention to ME) and indulging in deep sarcasm because it amuses me and Leah isn't awake to sarcasm at.

There's water in the roof, or there was. That'll need fixing eventually, probably. But the water in the taps is now coming out at more than a trickle. Hurrah! And tonight there is showertime at Woot's. It will be glorious and Wooty. With suds.

And hopefully conditioner that is mine, instead of borrowed from Alison! Depends on if they have some at the supermarket! It's hit or miss lately, really. Which isn't surprising.

On March 1st there will be St David's Day leek and potato soup and other things, as long as we can get leeks! If not, we will improvise. We're good at that.

Especially lately.

I...have had some wine. And I don't usually drink. And when I do, it's something very low in alcohol content like moscato. But there was earthquake-damaged Riesling at the supermarket so I got it AND moscato. And Cab Sav for Alison. And then I drank a whole bunch. (Typing this is interesting because I refuse to leave it all typoed.)

Alison has been QUOTING ME at her journal phfa and it is not fair, but she showed me a gif of this bird doing a moonwalk and apparently I said the following:

Lara: He moves like Michael Jackson! I bet Michael Jackson thinks he's that smooth.

Alison being a downer: He's dead.

Lara: NO HE STILL THINKS IT!

Alison: Oh nooo. MJ is like Elvis in this house isn't he?

Lara: I am Elvis in this house. I am Elvis. Because I like him and I know his songs. He sings a song about being in a jail. He also sings a song about being a hound dog. Which I think is a metaphor. For being an arsehole. Alison, Alison, Alison, stop it. Alison. Alison.* Stop writing. He has a song also, about his shoes. Because they were made out of this special blue suede. This song about this hotel, for lonely people. And he also has a song and Perry White dances at his desk and his parents were like, he isn't perry white, but he was! He smelled the space racks** and then he was dancing. Alison you are so many hiccups right now. You are made of them!

* About 20 'Alisons' have been cut from th2is sequence. Like Bernard. Bernard.

** Apparently this is "space rats"

Yep. That's pretty much about right. And the song Perry danced to was hunka-hunka burnin' love.

Alison just gave me MORE wine. Why is she crazy so crazy in the face place?

The other night was one of the loveliest nights of my life. And even in my eventful and sometimes messed-up life there have been many fantastic ones, so this is saying something.

Woot texted asking if we watched to watch the sunset on the beach. The LFoD was watching Queer as Folk and eating, so we had to finish that of course (Brian Kinney says so) and so we ended up leaving just at sunset. The sky was brilliantly orangey-red and incredible and by the time we got to Sumner beach, it was darkish. Sumner Beach looks like THIS except the tide was out so you could walk all the way out past that nearly submerged rock out there.

For those of you who have not seen me on a beach, I regress to a ball of child-like joy. I grew up, at least in part, on the ocean. Wellllll on the Puget Sound, and we spent a lot of summers in Oregon and California. The ocean owns my soul. I ran into the water, not too deep because it's freezing, and played in the surf. And you see that big rock with the mast thingy on top of it? That has a cave under it, so we went into the cave and them climbed up to the top of the rock, meaning I faced two fears. The dark, and heights. And while we were up there, people were playing with sparklers and I didn't panic. HAH!

But...it was so beautiful, you guys. It was misty and the lights on the hill were SO pretty and it was warm and wonderful and just... kind of like this but darker and mistier and AWESOMER.

And since I had faced three fears, we figured why not another one. Woot drove us out to Lyttleton via the tunnel (AUGH) and we looked around there. It was lovely and peaceful and full of joy and RENT songs and laughter. Sometimes the simplest things are the best things.

Ali: "I am not good at verbal book reviews." *awkward silence* ..... ... .. ..... "Or...speaking..."

Alison ♥

My exercycle is awesome. It is in my room and I've already used it twice. Woot took me to get it and Alison came along and getting it into the car was...interesting. I did not help. Woot did it all. And then we went to the BeAcH and we had SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM FROM A VAN and then I FROLICKED IN THE OCEAN UNTIL MY JEANS WERE SOAKED AND I COULDN'T FEEL MY FEET. No, you seriously do not understand how excited this makes me.

...I'm 29. *cough*

Anyway, my presentation on prejudice is nearly finished and I have consumed an entire clove of baked garlic as well as chicken and wedges. Alison should always cook. Garliiiiiccccccc.

And coffee. But not together.

I might be slightly hyper since I spent the entire day studying instead of on the internet (except for the break in the middle with beaches...not the movie though I do love that Bette Midler) and now I can't stop wiggling and giving Alison funny looks which make her be silent awkwardly.

YAY!

Spent the last two weeks with Darclady and had a fantastic time. We went to the BEACH! In the RAIN! It was freaking awesome, yo.

Tonight included Woot, Chili and Rent. Three of my favourite things! Good times, good times.

Tomorrow I am hennaing my hair and watching the movie version of Rent again. For now, I am role-playing with my Leah, the kitten is curled up beside me, the house is warm, and I am full and happy. Content and peaceful is such a lovely thing to feel.

LMAO! Leah JUST walked into the room and we had this conversation...

Leah: I would so blow a bee.
Me: .... ..... ...what!?
Leah: I said I would so blow a bee!
Me: ..... *dies*

Yeah, she just had some of Darclady's honey.

My lovely Leah has successfully brought down the tone of my 'I LOVE EVERYTHING EVER IN THE WORLD' post, but that is how it works in the LFoD. Which is why I love it so damn much.