It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

Been avoiding my journal because LJ pisses me off. So here's a quick update:

Back in New Zealand. Being in the US and avoiding real life was awesome. Now I have to do actual decisions though. Calling WINZ tomorrow to look in to going on disability for chronic fatigue since I still completely crash out of nowhere and just can't do anything. Then I need to up my meds because being sick for so long is depressing and what I'm on isn't enough any more.

Also I have a cold which I am sure I got from the plane.

BUT I am back with my kitties and my housemates. They are such lovely people. I couldn't ask for better people to be with while I slog my way through this.

Once I figure out what I am doing next year, then I need to just get better. Because really? I'd like my life to continue and it feels like it has just stalled. I don't like it.

Totally depressed and feel like sobbing forever. Everything is crumbling and it's all very, very doomy and gloomy. Fucking earthquakes anyway.

I got tea in the mail though. Tea and also a mink blanket (it is not actually mink, it just feels like it) and more tea. So, you know. That's nice. But the blanket is black as my soul. Aaaand now I have that song in my head.

Rearranged my room last night. I set up my new bookcases and the kettle (muhahhahhaa room-kettle!) and now I just have to put the new blanket on my bed. When I have motivation to do more than just sit here and feel shitty about everything in the world ever.

The ground can stay still now, please? I have spent nearly a year writing 'stop it, Christchurch' LJ entries. They have to be as tiring to read as they are to write.