It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

I JUST Slept for fourteen HOURS. Yeah. Think I needed that. Anyway, on to the real nitty gritty of this post. New Moon (Sorry, Liv! But to answer your Facebook question, YES I am ashamed.)

I went to see it last night, because I figured why not? Lewi was going out clubbing and movie theatres are cool. Meaning temperature-wise. I don't usually dig a room with sticky floors and frick-tonnes of people. Anyway, I went to a 5:45 session, AKA the LOSERS session. I expected it to be slightly less crowded because...you know...losers. It was not. Now, usually if I arrive before the doors open, I station myself right by the doors so I can get it right away. YES even if it's allocated seating. That's just how I roll, mate. I'm a pushy person, and it annoys me that the usual rate of heading into a theatre is a slow, bovine-like lumber. Ask Clare, who witnessed me telling her to 'just push through!' the crowd of very British people on the Thames river boat, while she looked at me like I had two heads. But dude, I'm American and even I won't go up against a bunch of rampant Twi-hards. I'd have been trampled.

It took the theatre staff roughly until 10 minutes after the ticketed showtime to clean the theatre, and I was praying for their safety as several people decided they were sick of waiting and just barged in. They were promptly thrown back out having hissy fits and saying things like "EDWARD WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!" A weird girl sidled up to me and looked me up and down and we had this ENLIGHTENING conversation:

Her: I'm really looking forward to this.
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah. Ever since I saw the first movie.
Me: Hmmm.
Her: I never read it. I don't like novels. I read like two lines and then I'm like 'screw this'.
Me: It's not so much a novel as a 'dear diary' moment that goes on for 12,000 pages too long...
Her: ..... Edward's hot. I like your cup.

(Here is where I admit that I bought the 'New Moon Combo' to get the plastic cup with RPattz's face for Jen! Sorry, you have to deal with Kristen and whateverhisnameisdogboy too... But GOODNESS I am so thoughtful!)

Me: Okay.
Her: So yeah, I think it'll be really good.
Me: Mmmm.

And then her friend came to join her and she pointed at me and went "Look, she got the combo with the cup. Haha, freak." And I just refrained from calling her an illiterate, moronic waste of oxygen. Because no one wants to waste a good insult on someone who will go ".....Edward's hot."

We finally were let in to the theatre and we were blessed with hecklers. Normally those are the people I (the pushy American) would shout at to SHUT UP! But they were hilarious. There was an ad that basically insisted that if you wanted to be like Edward you had to drive a Volvo. Sorry, Lewi. And then the hecklers commenced booing every time you saw Edward, and cheering for Jacob. Awesome. Best lines though?:

Bella: "Edward! I'm coming!"
Edward: "No! I don't want you to come!"

Whomever wrote the screenplay? Standing ovation. You basically explained the plot of the first three and a half novels in two lines so utterly perfectly that no one could have done it better.

And the award for best actor goes to RPattz's painted on abs. Brilliant.

Oh, how was the movie? It was alright. I think Kristen Stewart cracked a smile. But only one, after all, she is Bella Swan.

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE!?

THE MOVIE THIS IS IT

Oh my god, it was awesome. The SONGS and the DANCES and the singers and musicians and Michael and oh oh oh it was amazing.

"Michael, please hold on to the railing." Michael: *silly look* Me: *DIES*

Yes. That is about it. Everyone was SO silent when anything was happening. And they CLAPPED at the end. For you non-Aussies out there, Australian audiences in movie theatres are not generally very receptive unless it's a special event (Star Wars opening with the Skyforce peeps)... I have gone to several comedies and been one of the only ones laughing because I'm American and that's what you do. They CLAPPED and cheered at the end and these three guys jumped up to give a tearful standing ovation which was too cute. And now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside despite the swarm of invading, flying ants I came home to :D

:D!

"Looking up into thousands of snowflakes is a confusing image. Especially for someone who is losing his mind."

...yes. Thank you Mister Director of Deception. I can say, without a doubt, that you would be correct there, sir. Very astute. *pats* Probably looking at ANYTHING is confusing when losing one's mind, however.

My favourite comment from the director's commentary on Deception, however was:

"We were a little worried because Ewan and Hugh were not tennis players. We thought that you could see they were beginners. But they were great. I mean, we have Obi-Wan and Wolverine, of course they could do it."

Yeeaaahhhh good point there! Totally forgot Ewan was Obi-Wan watching that. He's just so nerdy.

Clearly, my night has been productive ;)