It's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light...

My housemates crack me up. I was talking about Saint Patrick (which I hardly ever do... /lies) and an AU I wrote with Ness last night. Saint Patrick and the rest of the patron saints of the UK consider themselves brothers in Forgotten Strays. And there's an AU based on if Patrick had sold his soul (long story) and became evil and started being a smarmy bastard to everyone in his family. Ness plays his Welsh brother, Saint David, who goes by Dewi. Which I don't think is actually pronounced 'Dewey' but I say that anyway because...I love Dewey Riley from Scream.

Anyway. I was telling Alison that AU!Dewi went badass and shot Patrick's eye out. And the following conversation happened:

Me: "And Dewi totally shot out Patrick's good eye and he died! Dewi went all rogue!"
Ali: "Huey and Louie are going to be so upset!"
Me: "..."
Ali: "Uncle Scrooge is going to be pissed!"

Cue me laughing like an idiot because I am so tired that Duck Tales humour is the most amusing thing EVER.

...so this morning at like 5 am, I may have thought it was a great idea to order like 4 books on Saint Patrick from Amazon.com

I am not even Catholic. Though one was How the Irish Saved Civilization which I have wanted for a long time, so that makes me feel a little less like a loser...

Shut up, I love history and roleplaying.

If you knew what my day included, you would understand why this is necessary.

"No he can't read my..........Poker Face."

(I just realised this makes it sound like my day was hard. It wasn't. It was hilarious and awesome and writeymcwriteygood. With a little bit of Archangel in the mix. Oh Michael, why so srs?)

I am about to talk about characters I created rather a lot. So either bear with me, or don't bother reading this. If you don't understand what it's like having characters you care about in your head, this will likely read like nonsense.

ANYWAY yesterday was supposed to be my Deirdre's (deirdre_ionuin) wedding. And I didn't write it because arrggghhhh she's my first character and it HURTS ME. Only because her wedding is going to go horribly wrong because in her grief over losing her girlfriend, she's marrying a Henry Cavill-shaped DOUCHEBAG. The marriage is going to last about 4 hours. Which is fine, I have been working up to this plot for like...A YEAR NOW and I knew it was coming, but it hurts. So I didn't write it. But now I have to, because it's no longer the 19th in London any more and it's heading on towards the 21st here in NZ.

I had to kill my Thomas (LOL THAT DIDN'T LAST LONG but I thought it would at the time) and that hurt, but this is different. Deirdre is different in my head. For years, she was all tumultuous and oooommmmmgggggg but I fixed her (LOL) by giving her babies. It actually mellowed her out, hush. And she has been lovely and yet still Deirdre like (her journal still cracks me up every time) since then. And I'm just worried that this plot will bring her right back to where she was, pre-baby. Which is AWESOME and I love playing out IC consequences 99.9% of the time...

But here's the clincher. I FEEL GUILTY FOR DELIBERATELY HURTING HER. I never feel this way really. I love causing my characters pain. See Flynn, Peter, Thomas, etc. etc. etc. I love it when OTHER people cause my characters pain (*cough*Saint Patrick*cough*) but Deirdre has always been different and I don't know why.

Stupid Irish red heads ;) They get me all mucked up inside.

Okay. Imma go break my Deirdre's heart. *sob*

I bought three kinds of specialist tea (orange red tea, mango red tea and chai black tea) and a new blue tea pot with a dragony printypattern from Teas Me. I'm in love with it. And now I am going to drink constant tea. Like...no, really.

My tea pot has DRAGONS. It's FIERCE! Rawr!

I don't even know. I'm too tired. I was up until 6:30 because I'm a GENIUS apparently and I knew I had to get up at 11:30. Not brilliant.

But organising is happening and that makes me feel less scattered all over the plot. Haha plot. Oh god. Sleep.

Some people I want to kick. So instead, I will meme.

Song that always makes you think of a plot- That depends. Joy Division always makes me think of Flynn because he's in a Joy Division cover band. Little House~The Fray is Deirdre. Most Dream Theater = Peter. Near to You~A Fine Frenzy is Tristan/Flynn. Breathe Me~Sia is Deirdre after Kait died. Lovecats~The Cure reminds me of Flynn/Quinn because Flynn played it and sang it to Quinn. It also makes me think of Godric because I did horrible things to him while that song played. Anything Muse is what Thomas jogs to DO NOT JUDGE ME and Lovesong~The Cure was what Eamon played to Adrina. Walking on Sunshine is Peter's ringtone because it makes me laugh. Amanda Palmer and Emilie Autumn both have songs I associate with plots but I can't remember them. And there's a VNV Nation song without words which I put on when writing Peter in World Saving Mode. Because I SUCK at action plots. Like...god yes. So I need actiony songs. VNV Nation and the song from the series finale of Buffy by Rob Duncan (which is, by the way, one of the most amazing instrumentals in the history of television, even if I generally pretend that the seventh season of Buffy does not exist)

I think the one song that I associate most with roleplay though, is See the Sky Again by Edwin McCain. And Scout will know why :D. My mobile phone STILL says that when I turn it on. And it was my ringtone for almost three years because it has heavy connections to Peter.

Favorite setting- Uhm. London? I don't know. Anywhere in London. There!

And FYI, random icon WIN

I am SO writing my essay on vicarious trauma right now! (Actually, reading the Memitim's bio on FG just actually gave me the missing start of my novel wouldn'tyouknowit, so I did that too. Essay and novel. And...this. Hush :D) I am continuing my 30 days of RP meme!

day 03 - your favorite female pb - This one is hard. I prefer to play men, and I think my male characters are always more well-rounded. My first original character I used in roleplay, however, was deirdre_ionuin my Deirdre Gallagher. She's now a rock star. When I started her in April, 2005, she was just a shy 16-year-old girl who didn't know what was going on. I stated that she was a redhead because I modeled her on my Kara Kent character from Superman (DO SHUT UP) and she had red hair. I used stock photos forever, until I saw all these lovely icons of this redheaded model on Leah's journal. And I thought...oh, I could use the photos of HER even though Deirdre is supposed to have green eyes and the model has blue eyes.

I had no idea that this was not a strange concept. It was called a played-by or PB. I thought I was being so clever to use an actual person for her photos, I am not even kidding. And the PB I found? Cintia Dicker. I think EVERY ROLEPLAY has or has had a Cintia in it. Because she is beautiful, she makes more than one face, and there are photos of her everywhere. So I thought I was being original and I was, in fact, being so unoriginal it's insane. Still, I love her. And over the past five and half years I have lived with Deirdre in my head, Cintia has become synonymous with her for me. I could never use her as anyone else, even though I can use Dylan Moran as someone other than Peter (which is mind-boggling). She's the perfect fit. Some PBs fit mostly and you just fudge the rest, but no. She is so perfect, Deirdre's eyes are now blue. Is she my favourite, however? I am not sure. I love using Emilie Autumn and Amanda Palmer as well. I just use Cintia more. And that is that!

day 04 - your favorite ship - HAH! Yeah, no contest. My Flynn myeyesarehollow and his husband, Quinn quinntaessentia. I will try to make this not so tl;dr. Flynn was in the PIRA. He met Quinn (they both had different names then but changed them for legal reasons oooOOOo) and had the hots for him. They made friends and Quinn showed Flynn violence isn't the way. Flynn's brother Frankie was angry and framed Flynn for several things including his own arrest. His parents kicked him out of home and Quinn went with him. They were homeless in Dublin and Flynn watched Quinn deteriorate. When he was sure Quinn might die, Flynn called Quinn's parents who had reported him as a runaway and he told them where Quinn was. Thus leading to six years of separation in which Quinn was loved by his family and Flynn was homeless.

Cut to three years ago when they reunited. They are, without a doubt, the sweetest thing I have ever written. And Quinn wasn't even supposed to be the random boy Flynn mentioned to his friend when talking about his past. I had created the character of Quinn a year before I made Flynn and suddenly Quinn was adamant he was this 'Ardal' Flynn kept talking about. I checked his backstory and everything he had said and it actually fit without me realising. I had no idea. I was creeped out. So I threw them together to see what would happen and holy crap, you guys. When I write them, I feel better about the world. They just love each other and I can't get enough.

Which is why I do terrible things to them sometimes, shhhh. They conquer all. Their tag is here with the oldest stuff way back, obviously. There are so many scenes there because I am insane.

OMFG I love them. Seriously. I love them waaaayyy too much.

I also love Spectre/Thomas and Aly/Peter. (And Noah/Daria YAY) They don't even come close to the love I feel for these guys though!

MY HAIR IS NOW WHITE IN THE MIDDLE AND IT RADIATES OUTWARDS YELLOW-ORANGE-RED-PURPLE!

It's quite a weird effect. Not...exactly what I was hoping for ;) But we're gonna try to make the rest go blonder too after it dries and then if not, we'll slap the red over it and hope it...like...covers it up. Otherwise I get a funfunfun trip to the salon because my head looks like a mixed drink. It's AWESOME but it won't make my classmates take me seriously. Bastards. (They are actually not bastards at all, I rather like them. I am just feeling scrappy :D)

...my kitten just mounted me and I can't see the keyboard. She has this love of sitting on my chest. It's quite adorable, it makes it hard to get anything done and I get fur in my mouth.

Oooh, I want to have Baphomet kill someone.... /random (That was me talking about fiction, not...doing a murder)

Ariadne's head is in my mouth (not her entire head, but she is LEANING against my LIPS. This...is wrong on so many levels...

In a case of art imitating life, I am now STILL awake at 8 (well now it's almost 9) in the morning, much like my new demon character in Forgotten Gods was complaining about almost 9 hours ago. FFFFFFFF And I can't sleep because Lewi is flying in (that is a yay!) and if I sleep, I won't go to the airport. And messaging my fiance to tell him to make his own way to my house just seems rude somehow... :D

So Circe, my co-awakeywake, and I are watching Firefly. LOL @ Aly's PB. I said "whoooooo, thigh!" and Peter in my head chastised me for perving on his wife. My head is SUCH a weird place to be. Especially when it's past 'crazy-awake' time.

Now I am going to eat potato wedges for breakfast. You wish you were as awesome as I am.... :D

KAYLEE HAS THE DRESS UP IN HER ROOM! Oh, Kaylee, I LOVE you. HUBBA, Aly/Inara in her nightie.... And cows are on the spaceship.

WHY AM I STILL AWAKE!

....omg Zac Efron is Simon Tam. OH MY GOD HIS FACE!!!! AHHAHHAHAHA I am going to die.