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Date: 2009-11-21 08:41 am (UTC)I do not understand. I went to see it, but I do not, under any terms, think it was anything near a theatrical masterpiece. I mean....the girl never SMILES, how are we supposed to believe she's OH SO IN LOVE with Edward.
Bella: "I know we just met, and all you do is like ignore me and stuff, but I'm in love with you now. Because ignoring is like so hot."
Edward: "NO! I'M EVILS!"
Bella: "Whatever, I'm so badarse, I jump off cliffs even though that's in the future and totally hasn't happened yet. My truck his more scary than you."
Edward: "....evil?"
Bella: "No."
Edward: "Oh. Okay. WELL IT'S A GOOD THING BECAUSE YOU'RE MY WORLD NOW!"
Bella: "Cool bits. And now I am going to proceed to spend the rest of my life looking angsty, because that means love, right?"
Edward: "I totally created that, don't steal that from me. I'm going to leave you for some months to perfect my angsty look. IN Brazil. Or some place with a glowing Jesus."
Bella: "Oh noes! I shall fill up my heart hole with a werewolf kid who actually makes me SMILE but see, I don't love him as much as you because he doesn't make me angsty-faced."
Edward: "And I shall teach teenaged girls it's romantic to kill yourself when you lose someone."
Bella: "And I'll save you in the slowest scene known to man where everyone wears red as the cheapest metaphor for blood EVER in the history of metaphors."
Edward: "And then we'll proceed to have a scene where we do everything except speaking to each other, because that totally proves our love."
Bella: "I'm so glad I found someone who understands that it turns me off to have a mind of my own."
Edward: "I'm so glad I found a woman who thinks it's sexy to be controlled and told she doesn't know what she wants and can't think for herself."
*Dramatic staring-into-eyes scene commences*
Yeah. Epic fail. And yet? I STILL WENT TO SEE IT. And I will go to see the next one too. *head desk* At least I don't think Edward is Meyer's gift to women.